Crusher came up with this idea.  Basically just a topic or section for advice.  Anyone think it's a good idea?

Personally, I do.  And she's really good with advice, so she'd have other things to do 'round here besides causing spam (Lol j/k).

I think it should be a mini forum off Gen Chat.
It would work.

thats more along the lines of what i was thinking. and very funny azuro....

Decent idea, but when you really think about it, it's kind of pointless. Everyone uses general chat to ask people somethin', more like splitting hairs.

And, I highly doubt Angryboy would add them, to be honest.

i have to agree with bob
but i do think it is a good idea...

Ok... Here goes.

My ex-fiance pretty much dumped me almost a year ago.  A few months ago, she moved into a house that is, I'm not joking, less than 100 yards from mine.  I pass this house every time I leave my own.  

How do I get her out of my mind and move on?  I've tried getting a new girlfriend, and (I'll admit, I've only had one successful attempt at such, and it lasted about a month) it's not really worked all that well, as I'm still losing sleep over this girl.  Any tips on how to get over and move on, then?  Any tips on how to get over being nervous and actually go talk to a girl?

If you don't mind me asking, why exactly did your relationship fail. You don't have to answer if you don't feel comfortable
*adjusts thick glasses and leans back in recliner(im a shrink)

Quote :

DFENS wrote : Ok... Here goes. My ex-fiance pretty much dumped me almost a year ago.  A few months ago, she moved into a house that is, I'm not joking, less than 100 yards from mine.  I pass this house every time I leave my own.   How do I get her out of my mind and move on?  I've tried getting a new girlfriend, and (I'll admit, I've only had one successful attempt at such, and it lasted about a month) it's not really worked all that well, as I'm still losing sleep over this girl.  Any tips on how to get over and move on, then?  Any tips on how to get over being nervous and actually go talk to a girl?

You could possibly become platonic friends, unless things ended with untied knots. Talk it out with her and if that doesn't work then just get a hobby to get her off your mind, going out with friends, or you could just start dating constantly.

Quote :

I-No wrote : If you don't mind me asking, why exactly did your relationship fail. You don't have to answer if you don't feel comfortable *adjusts thick glasses and leans back in recliner(im a shrink)

She changed.  She was no longer the girl I fell in love with when we split up... I won't say she was completely different, but she was drastically different.

The "just being friends" thing was tried.  Didn't work.  As for hobby, well, I ride motorcycle... but weather isn't always friendly for such.  Hanging with my friends is a great thing, but again, they aren't there 24/7, and I wouldn't have any of them put life on hold for me.  

I've tried dating, or at least tried to try... I've had one relationship since then, lasted around a month.  I just can't find anyone with the whole mutual interest thing going... either I don't like her or she doesn't like me.  I've noticed that I freeze up when I find a Lady to be attractive, but if I don't find the girl attractive then I'm relaxed and can talk... any tips on breaking the nervousness would be swell.

I don't really expect the Ex and I to ever be on hanging-out-as-friends terms again, as I'm still trying to get over the anger when I think of how things ended.  I'm just tired of thinking about her nearly every day

It's very hard to get over a breakup with someone you're really in love with.  I know it a little too well.  My ex broke my heart after I went all out on her on Valentine's Day 2 days earlier, and practically wasted a good $50 gift card on her (Hey, I had no job at the time... >_<).  I had fallen in love with her and everything.  And I had such a hard time letting go of the past, and was only hurting myself more and more, until I met my current girlfriend.  I broke it off with my g/f, because of my ex, and it got to the point where I was so miserable with it...I was like, "WTF am I doing?  Why am I letting my ex ruin shit between me and Tia (My g/f)?  Fuck it, I'm letting go of the past."  So I made up with my girlfriend, and I'm as happy as ever.

I know, you're probably like, "What the hell did have to do with me?"  But what I was trying to say is, like, breakups like that take some time to heal, and even then, it's really when you realize it's fucking you up very badly will you overcome that pain you feel.  It takes a bit of thought to realize that.

As with the nervousness, I feel ya.  I find it HARD to talk to a pretty girl, unless I'm just cool with them.  A tip is just to start finding a subject you both are on the same page with.

hm what it sounds like to me was that you were a good boyfriend.... and believe me there is somehting to that "nice guys finish last" thing. i mean, you seem like a guy who would be extremely sweet and say i love you alot... but when you hear it everyday, it loses its charm.... thats maybe why she changed... in order to keep a decent relationship you cant be nice and funny and laugh all the time.... it doesnt work... in order to keep a good relationship, you kinda gotta be a little mean once in a while...

as for being nervous thing, im sure you hear this all the time, but you would be surprised how many girls play it cool around guys who think they dont even have a chance.....i cant tell you how many times i get scared of guys. guys make me nervous all the time.... but thats also why i have so many guy friends. if you find someone attractive i would suggest getting to know them first ( another thing im sure you hear all the time) or another thing, dont base everything on looks.... there is something that happens to me, and maybe you too when your in love.... your around this person, and everytime you see them they seem to get more and more beautiful everytime you see them.... EVEN IF YOU NEVER FOUND THEM TO BE ATTRACTIVE IN THE FIRST PLACE!

and the issue with your fiancee. i understand you two loved eachother very much. i too have been in love. although i may be young, i know how it feels to wanna be so close to someone you would give your heart and soul to protect them... but... breakups like this happen all the time. i understand your probably an emotional person too. but at the same time... its a normal human feeling to want something you cant have... i mean... in the midlle of the relationship, did you want her as much as you want her now? plus. dont try and look for a relationship, let it come. if you rush into a relationship, the feeling proabaly will not be mutual and your only doing it to feel a void. this kind of problem is also going to have to come from within you to solve. you can get all the advice in the world, but you also have to do it yourself... remember, shes an ex for a reason. and God knows there is someone out there waiting for you to find them.

your putting too much pressure on yourself... remember, if you need someone to make yo uhappy, you never will be...

Is this all ppl asking questions or just one?

i think one

It's mainly one right now.  Me and Kort answered Dfens's question.

Quote :

Lawliet wrote : Is this all ppl asking questions or just one?

The thread is for everyone - It seems I'm just the first one to the gun.  If anyone else has any matters at hand, feel free to post (on my other forum, back when I was active, I was one of three designated leaders of the "(Name of forum) Therapy Thread".

@ Bulletproof - I wasn't always a good boyfriend, but overall I think I did ok.  Lord knows I screwed up, but I learned from the mistakes.  And, for her changing, I really don't give a flying frig about the reasons... she hurt me in the very worst possible ways that she could have - and she knew it - and later added insult to injury.

Yeah, that's how it goes - I start to think about her, start missing her, then I remember all we went through and all I gave up and all that jazz and get mad all over again.  It'd be nice if that cycle would settle down to plain, mild, calm indifference...

Your advice is pretty darned good, not just for me but I think for everyone in general.  Looks are one thing, but I'd take a rocking personality over looks any day.

Motorcycle and Friends have been great things to help me get out of the depression immediately following the breakup, and have kept me from getting back down again.  I was just wondering if anyone had any kind of trick to, I dunno, almost repress the memories of my time spent with her.

Part of my problem is that I'm just afraid of being burned like that again... I know that I'd have given anything, done anything (within reason) for Teh Exxors, and I'd do such for another Lady if we were in Love... and knowing that makes me afeared of it all happening again.  

Ha ha... Ironically, I was able to joke around with a cutie at work tonight... Had to push myself to do it, but still...

It's crazy - I've leaned my motorcycle so far in turns that my boot has scraped on the pavement, but the Ladies out there are even more scary-adrenaline-nervous.

(I'm sleep deprived right now, so if this doesn't make sense, well, I'll edit it later.)

Thanks for the ideas everyone

*Edit*
@ Lawliet - that banner is about the funniest thing I've seen today... "No, the other kind of Cloud"... *chuckles*  

--Last edited by dfens on 2008-03-22 05:12:04 --

ok i got a question after fens is finished, thank you kind sir, ^^ i love comedy

He is finished, isn't he?

Quote :

DFENS wrote :   @ Bulletproof - I wasn't always a good boyfriend, but overall I think I did ok.  Lord knows I screwed up, but I learned from the mistakes.  And, for her changing, I really don't give a flying frig about the reasons... she hurt me in the very worst possible ways that she could have - and she knew it - and later added insult to injury.

first off, i wasnt saying be the perfect boyfriend... on the contrary im saying you need to be imperfect to have a healthy relationship... and learn from your mistakes? although an admirable trait, i must say you are pushing youself too hard.unless its the same ones over and over *cough*azuro*coug* (I KID) the only perfect person who supposedly walked on earth was crucified,and even though i dont know you, that is seriously the last thing id ever want to happen to anyone. so if you wanna be normal like the rest of us chums your more than welcome. and pain. once again something i can relate to.... i was backstabbed by someone in middleschool who i told everything to. i was the perfect freind to the point where i would go along with anything she said or did and pretended it was normal to keep her as a friend... she was the first friend i ever had. but then soon things got dark, she became gothic. convincing me being suicidal was the collest thing in the world. it got to the point i was a cutter and cut an X in my face ( this has a point i promise) i was blind until i saw someone else she was having an effect on... i realized, if someone was going to hurt me this badly, then i am definately better off w/o them... i was vengeful after that and thought of everything nasty i could do to her until i got to the woorst thing possible: get over it. the worst thing to do to someone is to show them you can survive without them, that you had something special and you are your own person but not theirs.

Kay, How do i keep this girl, i really love her please helps

You REALLY should give more information than that.